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The Difference Between the Infantry, the Artillery and the Armored

HAPPINESS IS . . .
Infantry: A good rifle
Armored: A big tank
Artillery: A loud boom

UPON HEARING FIREWORKS
Infantry: Cool, just like a live fire exercise
Armored: Not loud enough
Artillery: Fireworks? What fireworks?

OTHER TRADES
Infantry: Waste of rations
Armored: Waste of rations
Artillery: Waste of rations

IDEA OF FUN
Infantry: Not having to "pepper-pot" an entire grid square before the objective
Armored: Racing across a grid square on "full stab"
Artillery: Leveling a grid square

FAVOURITE SONG
Infantry: "Ballad of the Green Beret"
Armored: "Purple Haze"
Artillery: Anything, just play it LOUD!

BIGGEST LUXURY IN THE FIELD
Infantry: Engineers blowing trenches for them with C4
Armored: Grunts to dig their trenches for them
Artillery: Cable

A LONG ROUTE MARCH WITH FULL KIT
Infantry: 20 clicks
Armored: From the hangars to the tank
Artillery: What's a route march?

OFFICERS
Infantry: Are morons and should stay away from the trenchlines
Armored: Are morons and should stay out of the vehicles
Artillery: Are morons and should stay away from the gun lines

FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION
Infantry: Anything but walking
Armored: Tanks. Tanks. Tanks. TankstankstankstanksTANKS!
Artillery: Don't you have to move around to require transport?

BIGGEST GRIPE IN THE FIELD
Infantry: The weather
Armored: Coffee maker in tank not working
Artillery: Only having basic cable

BREAKFAST IN THE FIELD
Infantry: I don't care what it is, just so long as I can sit down to eat it
Armored: Hot coffee and rum with a beer chaser
Artillery: Eggs over easy, crispy bacon, sausages, toast and Tim Horton's coffee

WHAT THEY CALL THEMSELVES
Infantry: Death Techs
Armored: Cavalry
Artillery: 10 Mile Snipers

WHAT OTHERS CALL THEM
Infantry: Grunts
Armored: Zipperheads
Artillery: Drop shorts